Say Thanks to the Bus Driver
I don’t think I’ve ever come across a passenger not saying thank you as they stepped off the bus.
Darren & Joe’s Free Gaff: Bus Sketch
Bus Driver Jokes
The Ugly Baby
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. While trying to pay for the bus fare, the bus driver made a comment about how ugly the baby was. Mad about the comment the bus driver made, the lady was huffing and puffing and was clearly upset when she sat down.
“What’s wrong?”, said the man next to her. “The bus driver said something that offended me!”, she said. “Well, that’s not right. Bus drivers are public servants. He shouldn’t have offended you. Why don’t you go back to the front and ask for an apology?”, said the man. “You’re right, I should do that right now!”, said the mother as she stands up. “Good for you!”, the man replies. “Now, let me hold your monkey.”
Peanuts
A nice old lady on a bus offers the bus driver some peanuts, the driver happily eats them. Every five minutes the old lady hands the driver a handful of nuts, eventually he asks:
“Why don’t you eat them yourself?” To which the old lady replies
“I don’t have any teeth, look” >So the driver looking confused then asks “So why do you buy them then?”
The old lady gives a nice smile and responds “I just enjoy the chocolate coating around them”
The Zip
At a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman in a tight leather mini skirt, with matching tight leather boots and jacket was waiting for the bus. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind and unzipped her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.
Again, she tried to make the step onto the bus, only to discover she still couldn’t!
So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, still she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt.
With a coy little smile to the driver, she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step.
About this time, a big Texan that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus.
Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero screeching at him, “How dare you touch my body!! I don’t even know who you are!”
At this, the Texan drawled, “Well ma’am normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends.”
The Bus Driver and the Priest
A bus driver and a priest died, and went to the gates of heaven. There they were greeted by St Peter, who said that heaven is full, and that only one can come in.
So they had to wait for heavenly decision. After some time, St Peter came back and said, “Alright, we can take the bus driver.”
The priest protested saying that he has lived a good life in faith, why should he not get to heaven?
St Peter answered: “When you were giving speeches about the word of the God, everyone slept, but whenever this bus driver drives, everyone prays.”
